Surviving this Roller Coaster

At what point can I say that I want off this freaking roller coaster?

I've noticed that the closer I get to my goal, the harder it is for me to lose weight - even though I do everything right. Last week I lost 0.2 pounds for the second week in a row. While I was mifted last week that my loss was only minimal, I've taken a complete nose dive this week and gained 4 pounds! How does that even happen?!

I mean, for the love of God...I WANT to be a LOSER!!!!

It's so weird to me how my body is responding to my "getting healthy" initiatives. I didn't change the way that I ate (I still portioned everything out), I didn't change what I ate (yes Pinky...we eat the same thing every week), and I still had 22 banked points and 11 activity points that I could eat; yet I gained enough weight to make me feel uncomfortable.

I mean...every roller coaster has a warning sign: don't ride if you are prego, don't ride if you are intoxicated, don't smoke while riding, don't stand up, blah...blah...blah. Where was the warning sign for this emotional BEAST? And yes...that was a total reference to my FAVORITE roller coaster of all time!

The Beast signage courtesy of Kings Island Image Central

Warning sign for weight loss

I guess i'm just going to have to buckle down even harder with my food intake and activity level. Which speaking of activity, I had to push out my 5K training due to shin splints! UGH!!

I'm trying to hop back on the wagon this evening. Keep your fingers crossed that I can complete my run without having to army crawl back up the mountain in my subdivision. Even little bunnies cried watching me do that last week. Brutal!

So...let's put our hands up together and ride this BEAST!

I'm pissed. Let's go buy some shit.

Yup. That's what I bought.

When I said that I was pissed and wanted to go buy some shit, I wasn't referring to items that would actually make me shit. Although from the Instagram picture above, it would appear that that was my sole intention. I mean, really? Fiber One bars AND bananas? Oy...it's going to be a rough night.

Due to the fact that I'm a tad bit salty right now, I'm not going to bore you with the details of today's weigh-in.  I lost 0.2 pounds. Hence the reason why I'm pissed and apparently taking natural remedies to rid myself of any extra weight that I may possibly be storing.

I know...I know. Gross.

So now that we have that shit out of the way (yes my friends...total pun intended), let's move on.

I tried out two new recipes for Memorial Day - Macaroni Salad and Mini-Brownie Cupcakes. So...because they were yummy in my tummy, I'd be willing to be that they would be yummy in your tummy too! And not break the points bank - just in case you are tracking those pesky things.

So...without further adieu, here are those recipes for your next mouthwatering side dish and tastebud tantalizing dessert.

Macaroni Salad
Points Plus Value: 3
Prep Time: 25 minutes
Serves: 12

Ingredients:

• 4 1/2 cup(s) cooked macaroni, kept warm
• 3/4 cup(s) fat-free mayonnaise
• 1/4 cup(s) fat-free sour cream
• 3 Tbsp sweet pickle relish
• 1 medium sweet red pepper, diced
• 1 medium green pepper, diced
• 1 medium uncooked carrot, diced
• 1/4 cup(s) red onion, minced
• 1/8 tsp salt
• 1/8 tsp pepper

Instructions:

While macaroni is still warm, place in a large bowl. Add mayonnaise, sour cream and relish; toss to coat. Add peppers, carrot and onion; toss to combine. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Serve warm or chilled. Yields about 1/2 cup per serving.

Deliciousness in a bowl.

Mini Brownie Cupcakes
Points Plus Value: 2
Prep Time: 7 minutes
Cooking Time: 15 minutes
Serves: 36

Ingredients:

• 21 oz regular brownie dry mix
• 1/2 cup(s) water
• 1/2 cup(s) unsweetened applesauce
• 2 large egg whites, lightly beaten
• 1 Tbsp powdered sugar

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350ºF. Line 36 mini muffin tin holes with mini cupcake wrappers.

In a large mixing bowl, combine brownie mix, water, applesauce and egg whites. Mix 50 times with a wooden spoon (use 50 strokes); do not under or over mix. Pour brownie mixture into prepared muffin tins, about 1 tablespoon per hole.

Bake cupcakes until a tester inserted in center of a cupcake comes out clean, about 12 to 15 minutes. Remove from oven and cool completely; remove cupcakes from pan. Before serving, dust with powdered sugar. Yields 1 cupcake per serving.

And there you have it folks. A party for your mouth.

I'm building muscle! I'm building muscle!

...well, that's what I keep telling myself anyway.

Needless to say, the weigh-in was not in my favor today. It's amazing how you can do everything right and STILL manage to gain 1.3 pounds. It makes me want to scream. Oh wait...I already did that. Okay, okay. It makes me want to eat...not healthy shit. lol

I told myself today that my gain was because I'm incorporating more activity into my routine and that I'm building muscle. Yeah...that sounds about right. I mean, I'm active in Zumba once a week (which my legs look dyn-o-mite...btw) and I've started my training to run a 5K in July.

Speaking of training, I started Week 2/Day 1 yesterday. It's funny...I never thought that I would get into running. I hated it growing up. I mean, for a kid that only knew how to run her mouth, physical running was a horror that I only entertained in gym class. And to be honest, that was only becasue I had to do it.

Anyway. I digress - back to running.

I was actually surprised that my run went as well as it did. I felt like I moved faster, wasn't quite out of breath and maybe actually had the itch to pound the pavement. I know! Who am I?

In all honesty, it was a liberating moment.

Who knows...in eight weeks, I may actually be ready for my 5K. Let's hope that is the case. I'm dying to look like an Easter egg! Seriously...I am. :)

So...even though my week sucked horribly, I can only move forward from here. I will continue to eat healthy, pound the pavement and shake my ass. I'm also not going to beat myself up over gaining 1.3 pounds. After all...it was a holiday weekend, it was hotter than the third realm of Hell and most people retained enough water to be Stay Puff Marsmallow Man's twin.

With that said...here's to cooling temperatures and peeing out all of this retained water that my body thinks that I need to store. lol. Um...earth to my body...I'm NOT dying or cooking from the inside out. Let the water go! :)

Peace out!

You just did what????

Let's face it. I'm a huge exercise dropout. It's never really been "my thing". I've never been the person to just go for a run (or walk for that matter). Why exert physical force when I can run my mouth and be equally as happy?

Somewhere along this long and winding road, I discovered that I actually like working out. I know! It shocked the hell out of me too! lol. I actually like going to Zumba on Wednesdays and getting my ass kicked. It's crazy...I never thought that I would actually get to that point.

Well...apparently I'm at the point where I want to incorporate more physical exertion into my life.

So...I signed up to run a 5K in July. Duh...duh...duh. That's right...your eyes aren't playing tricks on you. I signed up to run the Color Me Rad 5K race on July 21. If you've never seen the event, you should totally check it out at http://www.colormerad.com/. Just so that you can see what I'm getting into, here are a couple of pics from past events:

You start the race in a white t-shirt and end the race looking like a brightly colored easter egg. I can hardly wait.

So...what prompted me to sign up to run a 5K when all that I really know how to do is run my mouth? Good question.

In all honesty, I've been overcome by this whole new "I can do it" attitude. Not that it wasn't there before, but my determination and perseverance is at a whole new level. Maybe it's the fact that I've dropped 25.8 pounds and actually can do it without getting completely winded. I don't really know...but I'm going to run this race.

With that in mind, I started training yesterday. I downloaded the Couch to 5K app to my phone, rocked out to my iPod and let the program work its magic on me. I warmed up with a five minute walk, jogged for a minute, walked for a minute, repeated that process and then cooled down with a five minute walk. Now...if you know my neighborhood, you will understand what an accomplishment that task was for me yesterday. If you don't know my neighborhood, let me describe it in one word - HELL. It is an unforgiving, mountainous landscape that makes everyone cry - even little bunnies.

So...needless to say, this week has been one of great endurance and positive outcomes. I signed up to run a 5K, I actually started training, I lost two pounds this week AND I reach a milestone of losing 25 pounds.

What an awesome week.

The "why" behind the fat

My journey didn't start off because I wanted to be a supermodel. I know...shocking, right? It started because I went to the doctor to adjust my insulin settings and was told that my cholesterol was high. Um...I'm 34. I don't need another issue on top of what I currently deal with everyday.

She wanted to put me on medication to lower it and I refused. I didn't want to be on another medication. For once, I wanted to be able to control that portion of my life. I can't control the fact that my pancreas shat out on me when was I was barely five. I can't control the fact that I will always have to take insulin to stay alive. What I can control is what I put into my body and how I take care of it.

Needless to say, that got me thinking and started on this whole process of a "healthier" me.

So...I recently read an article about "why" people are fat. Which in turn...prompted my topic for today.

So many people in our society are apt to blame it on the fact that we eat out too much, roll through the McDonald's drive-through because we have to be in 10 places at once, or that we are just a lazy society that doesn't care about our health.

In my humble opinion, I believe that those are contributing factors as to why people are overweight, but that those factors don't really define the "why".

I'll be the first to admit....when I started this journey, I was roughly 35-50 pounds overweight. My BMI told me that I was OBESE (what an ugly word). And by the way...I hate the BMI. I mean...it tells me that my ideal weight is between 105-119 pounds. Um...could you imagaine? Tits on a stick. Gross!

So here's the big question...how did I get that comfortable and that heavy?  I can tell you that it wasn't from stuffing my grill with HoHos morning, noon and night (I HATE those things!). 

My weight gain was the slow, silent stalker of boredom eating, two pregnancies and the occasional emotional binge.

It wasn't that I was making bad food choices at every meal. For me, it was those moments in life, when I could barely breathe and would stuff a PB Twix in my mouth (or in my case four - who doesn't get the King size?) because at that particular moment, those four pieces of peanut butter and chocolate deliciousness made me feel better. Then I would try on clothes, have nothing fit, feel bad, have a DEFCON meltdown in my closet and then soothe myself with a bowl of ice cream. Okay...not really on the ice cream part - I HATE ice cream. But I would binge and eat everything else.

Or how about the non-emotional binge when everything is all unicorns and glitter and you just eat becasue you're bored. This is my real struggle. I could just eat lunch and still be thinking about what I'm going to eat next, when and how much. Boredom is my trigger for overeating.

I don't know. All of this probably doesn't make sense to the skinny minnies out there that just don't understand why people eat when they aren't hungry. But...I'd be willing to bet that most of you that are reading this right now are nodding you head and thinking, "Been there, done that, wrote the book."

So this is what I know. I didn't get this way over night. Getting healthy, changing my attitude towards myself and not being my own worst critic isn't going to change over night either. To say that I've learned a lot about "me" in this whole process is an understatement.

Maybe, just maybe, you have learned a little from this post too.

Feed Me: I'm Cranky

What a day...and it's only the middle of the week.

It's horrible to think (and even say), but my tolerance for stupidity is at an all time low. So...instead of getting incredibly snarky, I've decided to utilize my inherent sense of whit and sarcasm to combat the idiots that I run into everyday - because beating the shit out of people is illegal.

In all honesty, I hope that my lunch will stabalize my sugar and I'll get nicer as this post continues. Wishful thinking.

So...my weigh-in was today. Apparently I didn't get the memo that I don't rock all the time. Hmm...wonder who picked that one up?

Needless to say, I gained .8 pounds this week. Truth be told, I think that grumpy pants behind the counter needs to calibrate her scale - again.

I don't think that it would have bothered me so much if a little compassion was involved. I hate the "Oh...but you had a great week - last week." It's like the comments that people make when they say, "Wow. You've lost a lot of weight. You look fantastic!" Um....really?! Did I look horrible before?

I know that people are trying to be nice, but come on. I know what I looked like 23 ever-loving fluffy pounds ago - I don't need the reminder!

So...instead of festering (like I would really like to do), I'm going to put it behind me and move on.

Here's to a new week....full of unicorns and glitter.

Holy Hotness, Dees!

So...I don't do "before & after" pictures. I never want to see myself as the fat girl - I saw that my entire life. That's why I didn't take a picture of myself when I started this journey. As crazy as it sounds...I wish that I would have now.

Last Friday, I was surprised with a shopping trip to buy new clothes that fit my ever changing body. If you know me, you know that I HATE surprises. Fortunately, this one rocked. :)

Anyway. My whole goal was to buy a pair of pants that actually fit. I've jumped a few sizes within the past 16 weeks and things just don't fit well anymore. So...I asked the sales lady for a size 8 - black, bootcut pants. She said that they didn't have any and asked if I could squeeze into a size 6.

I have to admit - I kind of freaked out. I know that my new skinny jeans were a size 6, but I didn't really think that I was actually that size. I thought that it was a fluke.

So...once I was in the dressing room, I tried on these size 6 pants, skirt and a few tops. Come to my surprise, they fit - perfectly. I got a few tops in a size M and one in a size S. Um....what?!?! I've NEVER been a size S. Pretty sure that Hell froze over at that exact moment.

Anyway...I posted my new "half way there" shot on Facebook yesterday. I don't know what I was really expecting, but the positivity was completely overwhelming. Here's my shot -

While I'm excited to be able to see my transformation paying off, I feel like I kind of look like Dolly Parton in this picture. If I lose any more weight from my mid section, I might be too top heavy and topple over. lol

So with that I mind, I'll say that my weigh-in today was awesome. After maintaining my weight last week, I lost another 2.6 pounds this week - bringing my total to -23.8 pounds. Yay!

While I have a little bit more to go, this transformation has not only changed my body, but it has completely changed my perspective. Being hot isn't all about my body or my appearance...it's about taking control of my life and making those necessary changes that are going to set me up for success in the future.